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Post by paleskinbeauty on Mar 21, 2011 11:08:40 GMT -5
My guy pointed out last night about Margene and her kids. The point of the ending was that the family was stronger than anything else. So it stands to reason that Margene feels comfortable enough with Barb and Nicki to leave her babies with them...they ARE a family.
My 2 cents...11 months after a death is still Mouring time. Grief can be life altering and Margenes way around is to do something bigger than herself.
I think we need to cut Margene some slack on this.
Who knows what anyones reaction would be, until it happens.
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Post by writerwannabe on Mar 21, 2011 11:55:56 GMT -5
My guy pointed out last night about Margene and her kids. The point of the ending was that the family was stronger than anything else. So it stands to reason that Margene feels comfortable enough with Barb and Nicki to leave her babies with them...they ARE a family. My 2 cents...11 months after a death is still Mouring time. Grief can be life altering and Margenes way around is to do something bigger than herself. I think we need to cut Margene some slack on this. Who knows what anyones reaction would be, until it happens. I hear ya. I'm willing to cut her some slack, but I think it was poor writing to achieve what the writers said they wanted to achieve. I think they could have found a way for Margene to grow, develop, express herself and learn about the world without leaving three fatherless babies behind. My guess is that there was no one in writer's room with kids and therefore no one to say that it's a contradiction to say that the character is maturing and then have her leave her children for weeks at a time. |
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Post by orchid on Mar 21, 2011 13:51:07 GMT -5
I think this is something Margene needed to do. If the other wives are willing to take care of the kids, whats the problem, really? Marg's kids view Barb & Nicki as their moms too. If she really wanted to leave she would've joined the Peace Corps which is for 2 years, but these are 6 week trips. I grant the kids will be upset, but she isn't abandoning them.
I dont have kids, but one of the most life altering experiences for me was traveling alone. Being alone even for this short period of time teaches her that she can be self-sufficient by herself. For someone who married and had kids so young its easy to see why this is such an important experience for her.
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Post by marigoldmama on Mar 21, 2011 14:02:04 GMT -5
I grant the kids will be upset, but she isn't abandoning them. To a child, that would be such a traumatic experience. To have your mother leave for SIX weeks! You cannot explain to a child that mommy had children very young and wants to find herself for 6 weeks and she'll be home soon. Those children just lost Bill and the mother trots off for SIX weeks? I don't know of any mother who would do that. You might think it sounds good now but when they put that child in your arms...six weeks is not even in your thought process and leaving your child for a weekend is a major deal. Or for work. Margene could've found a mission in her area and still had a good experience without being so selfish. Yes, Barb and Nicki will take good care of her children but how Margene could leave them? I don't get it at all. The traveling you did alone was just that, traveling alone. Before you have children is a great time to find yourself and travel and think and grow. You could never backpack around Europe leaving a child back in the US. No way. And from the way Nicki talked, this was her second trip. That is 12 weeks gone from your small children?  I'm with Writerwannabe. No one had kids on the writing staff. |
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Post by marigoldmama on Mar 21, 2011 14:03:56 GMT -5
My guess is that there was no one in writer's room with kids and therefore no one to say that it's a contradiction to say that the character is maturing and then have her leave her children for weeks at a time. I also see it as immature, which is how I usually see Margene's character. |
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Post by orchid on Mar 21, 2011 14:48:56 GMT -5
We'll have to agree to disagree because I don't think its out of character for her. She always seemed to love her kids but they never seemed like they were the center of her life. That is just my impression.
I'm not saying she is mature. I'm just saying she seems to think her children are fine under the care of Nicki and Barb, and that she needs to do this for herself. So she decided to go.
Not to mention this is a TV show - why should it be realistic?
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Post by LD no S on Mar 21, 2011 14:56:53 GMT -5
We'll have to agree to disagree because I don't think its out of character for her. She always seemed to love her kids but they never seemed like they were the center of her life. That is just my impression. I'm not saying she is mature. I'm just saying she seems to think her children are fine under the care of Nicki and Barb, and that she needs to do this for herself. So she decided to go. Not to mention this is a TV show - why should it be realistic? i have to agree, orchid ... Margene had the kids dumped on her all the time ... she had no chance to really enjoy being young ... one of the beauties of the kind of marriage she got herself involved in is the support of her sister-wives ... they are, indeed, "mothers" to Margene's children, too ... also, i am sure Margene didn't run off right after Bill's death ... |
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Post by marigoldmama on Mar 21, 2011 19:58:30 GMT -5
Ok, I'll met you half way. ;D Most mothers would not do that and Margene is not most mothers. Her character does tend to be impulsive and selfish so for Margene, yeah, this is her.  I don't think the show has to be totally realistic but I still think there are no writers with kids on the show. Remember the first season when they had the pool with no guards/safety?  All the moms on the HBO board went NUTS! Later, they added the safety fence but how the heck did that pass through and no one thought of it? A mom leaving her small children for 12 weeks when their father just died? Nah...not buying it. I guess margene is just different than any moms I know. |
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Post by prophetess on Mar 21, 2011 20:18:04 GMT -5
Mothers who are in the military are gone for months at a time, sometimes longer. They are still loving moms, who are doing it to better the lives of people around the world.
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Post by ladyfriend on Mar 21, 2011 20:35:23 GMT -5
I didn't really think about it from the point of view of the children. I did think that it added to the message of trust and permanency of the love/bond between the three women. I feel like Margie was always convinced of the fact that all of the children were "communal" to the mothers.
I do feel like her leaving seems very selfish. I think, maybe, that this is supposed to be one of the benefits of the polygamist lifestyle?
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Post by aliensummer on Mar 21, 2011 21:04:16 GMT -5
As a child who lost her father really suddenly at the age of eight, I am really disappointed in Margene's character. Also, eleven months after the death was Margene's second trip, which means that the father of her children hasn't even been dead for a year, and she is leaving them for a second six week trip.
My father dying was the most confusing time of my life. It took me two years to figure out what actually had happened, and to this day I still worry about getting too close to people because I can't stand losing someone that I loved that much ever again. You grow up thinking that your parents are always going to be there for you. That you have nothing to worry about because they're in your corner looking out for you. To have that stolen from you as a child is something that no one could ever understand except for someone who has gone through that. On top of that, to have your living parent leave you twice in less than a years time? I can't even imagine.
I thank God that my mom's response to the death of her husband wasn't to abandon her two kids to her sister while she went away for weeks at a time to find herself. If she had done that, I can honestly say that I wouldn't be able to forgive her. My sister and I needed her too much.
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Post by paleskinbeauty on Mar 21, 2011 21:52:55 GMT -5
The thing is. Margene's children have grown up with Barb and Nicki AS MOM. Almost interchangeable at times. So the relationships with the kids and the sisterwives/mom's are already in place and bonded.
I can absolutly see the validity of her going on a 6 week mission at some point...we dont know how soon after Bill's funeral, it might have been 9.5 months after. She did'nt go on a pleasure cruise or a holiday, she went on a mission. As has been pointed out, mothers in the military go for far longer times.
Also, after watching today. Bill told Nicki to ease up on her that she should go and give what was in her heart. So Nicki probalby was somewhat more supportive after that.
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Post by caltron on Mar 21, 2011 22:04:31 GMT -5
I don't fault Margene at all for leaving. Many children have parents who have to work or be absent for long stretches at a time like mothers who are in the military. There is a huge difference between being away and abandoning a child.
Also I don't think Margene leaving would be as tramautic for the kids in their current arrangement as it would be in a monogamous relationship.
It's not something that I would want to do as a mother, but I can totally see why Margene wanted and needed to do it. If don't think Margene would have gone on the mission if she thought her children would be harmed.
I also think it's interesting that no one is really jumping on Bill for refusing to take a very favorable plea deal that would have allowed him to get out of jail in 1-2 years instead of 7-20 years and in refusing to sell his shares of Home Plus even with the hardship it caused his families. Seems to be a huge double standard.
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Post by paleskinbeauty on Mar 21, 2011 22:28:55 GMT -5
The way I see it is, if Bill TOOK the plea, he would have had to admit guilt and live with all that ensued...registering as a sex offender etc. He felt his relationship with Margene was sacred and therefore would not plead guilty. The other option was being found guilty by jury trial. If Found guilty, he would have faced the same ordeals, but there was a chance he could be totally aquitted. Thus not having the world at large recognize his relationship with his wife as a 'by force' situation.
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Post by writerwannabe on Mar 21, 2011 22:54:10 GMT -5
Rather than commenting on Margene as a person, I'm commenting on the writer's choice of the travel mission as a signal that Margene is becoming her own person. Just saying......as a device it didn't work very well. At least half of us don't buy the notion that a mother of three young children can discover herself while leaving them the care of someone else, even another member of the family. If the device had worked as the writers intended it to, we would ALL be feeling all warm and fuzzy about Margene doing something for herself.
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All the moms on the HBO board went NUTS! Later, they added the safety fence but how the heck did that pass through and no one thought of it?