I feel bad for Barb

[chloe15]

Jules... being a romantic I used to want the same thing... Barb and Bill back together in a monogamous marriage! However, the indignities she has suffered in following her priesthood holder have been so intolerable that my wish is that she leaves and builds a life of her own.

Nicki and Bill deserve each other and Margene will probably just find herself another man.

[marigoldmama]

I don't know...I think I kinda disliked Barb this episode.

She is talking about being part of the family and how the family will go forward etc.
But then she refused to be resealed?

Either you are on the horse or you are off the horse. She is such a dedicated wife, she has been pretty kind and gracious but then she also is so frustrating with her recent behavior.

Her character frustrates me.

She wants to be a Mormon, but wants her type of Mormon. She was so kind to Nicki by buying the dress, but then refused to be resealed. She gave a beautiful speech but then looks so unhappy.

It's like she has some split personality? Maybe she is just mixed up? Lost?

[bridget]

I see this both ways. When I first saw them doing the resealing I immediately said, "Ooooh bad move Bill." My husband said, "Hey, she said she didn't want to!" I said, "Then they should have waited for her, if it's really about committing themselves as a family." I think this is especially true after her speech at the wedding where she said the family is God ordained and she is convinced they can overcome anything. It felt like sabotage to me.

My husband feels differently. He says they wanted to do it and she didn't want to be a part of it, there is no reason she should be upset that they went ahead with it.

As for her going with the cops, I *hope* she has the good sense to say, "What do you mean she was 16? I've seen her birth certificate, we asked her mother... I don't know what you are talking about." It's a fact that Bill not knowing Margene was 16 won't stop him from going to jail for it if it comes out, because there are no considerations in the law for men being tricked, but it would definitely be better for everyone if they all play dumb.

I can't believe Heather was so stupid, honestly.

[firstwife]

There was no reason that Bill couldn't have held off on the "resealing" until Barb made a firm decision. But once again, it was all about what Bill wants and not what the family needs.

I really, really HATED last night's episode. Barb was getting it from every angle between Bill's BS, Nicki's knife twisting and even Lois's outburst. All the while, Bill did nothing to reach out and help her.

[morgain13]

They are all already sealed so I thought the point of the resealing was to recommit themselves as a family. I see it as they basically decided since Barb wasn't ready that they would start a new family without her. they all suck except for Barb

[bigluvjunkie]

Feb 28, 2011 11:42:43 GMT -5 firstwife said:

There was no reason that Bill couldn't have held off on the "resealing" until Barb made a firm decision. But once again, it was all about what Bill wants and not what the family needs.

I really, really HATED last night's episode. Barb was getting it from every angle between Bill's BS, Nicki's knife twisting and even Lois's outburst. All the while, Bill did nothing to reach out and help her.

This twist didn't ring true--not believable. Bill wouldn't be that insensitive to Barb, even if he was trying to do it in secret without her knowing. Maybe it would have been more believable if it were better established that Marge and Nicki really wanted a re-sealing.

[marigoldmama]

First Barb gives this nice speech about family. Then she refuses to be resealed?

Maybe it's just me but those two don't really make sense to me.

If she's all rah-rah about family, hers in particular, then get resealed and be part of your family. Start a new chapter in your life with your family.

Or just leave. Start a new life. Rip off the band aid and be done with it already.

This constant "I don't know what I want" is getting annoying.

(Not that Bill and Nicki and Margene aren't annoying me also lately)

If Barb were my friend, I'd grow tired of her indecisiveness. I'd be like "make a decision already!!!!!!!" Maybe Bill is tired of it to. Bill is an idiot but he is not really wishy washy. He makes impulsive decisions and selfish ones but he usually does make a decision.

This story line is never ending "is Barb happy in the family or isn't she" It's been going on for how many seasons?

Ugh, Barb please make up your mind and go with it!

[firstwife]

Why should she be resealed? In her mind and heart, she was already sealed to Bill. A resealing now, while things are so tense between them, doesn't make sense. Barb takes sealing and commitments very seriously. It's not something you just "decide" to do one day because the mood strikes.

[bigluvjunkie]

Barb has an idea of what she wants--to stay in the family as a priesthood holder. The speech and officiating the wedding were a way of demonstrating what she she could do in that capacity. For nowshe hasn't given up on convincing the family.

But now these new legal complications throw a new wrench into the mix.

[duets]

I re-watched this epi this afternoon, I noticed that Barb told Bill, that they were already sealed, yes in a church that is hypocritical (lds) & that in his new church, she thinks it's a lie or she doesn't believe in it, or something to that effect.

I believe that Barb has had reality hit her hard with the PH that Bill refuses to give her, the so called "paper divorce" that turned into a full pledged ceremony. Then the re-sealing that she nearly walked in upon (while in progress). Then her above statements about her original marriage to Bill etc. Now she's off to be questioned by the police, whew. That's a lot to digest.

The ONLY thing that went Barb's way in all of this, is that she got to do the wedding ceremony, by the authority vested in her by the state of Utah, via an on line nondenominational preacher's school/church. Well, I guess she answered those "4 boxes" & got that certificate & Bill couldn't/didn't deny her that. It's all hers!

[marigoldmama]

Feb 28, 2011 22:43:27 GMT -5 bigluvjunkie said:

Barb has an idea of what she wants--to stay in the family as a priesthood holder. The speech and officiating the wedding were a way of demonstrating what she she could do in that capacity. For nowshe hasn't given up on convincing the family.

But now these new legal complications throw a new wrench into the mix.

I know what you are saying but Barb grew up Mormon/LDS. She knows what the Mormon religion is about. For her to insist on the Priesthood is a loosing batthle. I'm not saying that she has to accept it. But how long can you try to jam a square peg in a round hole? At some point, you do need to move on. Find a religion that will accept you and your ideas. But the tradititional LDS or Mormon Church of Bill is not it.

As for the other stuff, does Barb know what she wants? Really? She has lived a polygamist Mormon lifestyle for how many years but still doesn't have a testimony for it. We never really get a sense of if she agrees or not. Nicki told her in season one, "you can't straddle the fence. This lifestyle is too hard"

I think Barb has straddled the fence for a long time with Bill and denying herself. Either submit to Bill or leave him and move on with you own life. Barb cannot be happy because she can't have what she wants (as you said, the Priesthood, for example) but can't seem to leave Bill either. She has one foot in the polygamist patriarchal world and one foot in the modern women's rights world. Unfortunately, these two worlds don't easily jive together.

I still think Barb does not know what she wants OR she does not have the strength to do what she wants.

[bigluvjunkie]

Agreed.

Realistically, she should have threatened to walk out when Bill announced the intention to run for the Senate (which was so obviously a prelude to becoming a religious prophet figure). Her support, however conflicted, was so radically in contrast to the Barb we knew--the Barb that vocally opposed buying a gaming company, and the Barb that went to great lengths to keep their secret and was devastated when she was exposed.

Imho Barb is trying to compromise with Bill but right now and possibly save the marriage. Tragically Bill wants the same thing, but can't or won't give her want she wants. Barb does not want to be 1st wife to the new prophet--she wants to stay with Bill but also take control of the family's destiny. The new Barb is also a direct consequence of Bill's outing the family in the interest of purifying the family. Now that authenticity is seen as virtue, Barb is attempting to determine who she is and what she believes, after years and years of hiding from the world and herself.

I suppose its unrealistic that a life-long LDSer like Barb would desire this particular thing...but then this is a Hollywood show.

On the other hand, is it realistic that Margie and Barb could be happy long-term within Bill's religious framework? I'd say definitely not for Marge. The old Barb might have been ok with Bill's religion.... but as she herself expressed, she's changed and no longer feels she needs Bill.

I think the experience of running the Casino and bonding with Tommy played a role in changing Barb's attitudes, and I wonder if Tommy will make an appearance in the final eps.

[aliensummer]

I was kind of torn with how I felt regarding this scene. On the one hand, it does suck to see yourself being excluded from something, especially by those you love. But On the other hand, Nicki, Bill, and Margene all said that they needed the resealing in order to reunite the family and move on together. Isn't it kind of selfish for Barb to deny them that?

And I don't think they're trying to exclude her from the family. I think that Margene, Nicki, and Bill needed a symbolic gesture to remind them that they're part of something bigger, and Barb told them that she wasn't ready for it. I'm sure that when Barb's ready, they'd do it again for her.

[chloe15]

I really dislike Bill, but I don't think he would deliberately exclude Barb from something so important ... this has Nicki written all over it.

After Barb stated she wasn't ready to be resealed, both Nicki and Margene agreed that her need for more time should be respected.

In rewatching the episode I noticed that Bill looked at Barb and not Nicki during the vow portion of the wedding ceremony. This did not go unnoticed by Nicki (she pouts) and given her jealousy may have been the reason she changed her mind and possibly manipulated Bill into going forward with the resealing.

[marigoldmama]

Mar 2, 2011 7:50:17 GMT -5 aliensummer said:

I was kind of torn with how I felt regarding this scene. On the one hand, it does suck to see yourself being excluded from something, especially by those you love. But On the other hand, Nicki, Bill, and Margene all said that they needed the resealing in order to reunite the family and move on together. Isn't it kind of selfish for Barb to deny them that?

And I don't think they're trying to exclude her from the family. I think that Margene, Nicki, and Bill needed a symbolic gesture to remind them that they're part of something bigger, and Barb told them that she wasn't ready for it. I'm sure that when Barb's ready, they'd do it again for her.

I agree 100%.

This is where Barb lost me.
-She gives a very warm and loving speech about the family
-She says she was already sealed to Bill.
-States that the sealing was in a hypocritical church
-Clearly loves the family by doing so much for the wedding
-Refuses to be resealed because she is not ready
-Is hurt when the other three are resealed without her

I think Barb's thinking was very irrational this episode.

I think Barb's character has been irrational for a while now and we just didn't notice it so much. Barb is all over the place with this polygamy in the past seasons but still, nothing is ever resolved.

We could make a list of all the contradicting things she does...

I think this polygamy thing has not really been good for Barb at all. Maybe it really is time for her to seriously leave, for her own sanity. Barb seems like a nice, educated woman who was married to one man and had a nice family. Look at where she has ended up.