Barb's Mother

[BigLoveRocks!]

What is wrong with Barb's mother anyway? She denied being the one to cast out Barb when we all know that she did... Then she calls up Cindy and accuses barb of bringing up the whole Betty Ford thing in front of the women at Sandstone and rubbing her nose in it and how they all ate it up and that didn't even happen! LOL!

[marigoldmama]

That whole Betty Ford thing went over my head. At first, I thought she went to the Betty Ford clinic.

I followed the story in facts but in reality, what the heck was that about??

She was supposed to pick her up at the airport? Wasn't Betty Ford famous? Why is SHE picking her up, doesn't she have a limo or something?

I just got lost in the history of it, I guess. The whole thing didn't sound plausible (much like Bill being elected and no one knew they were polygamists even after the Mother of the Year thing) (I can't let it go!!!)

(Or it was a dumb story line)

[withay]

Jan 26, 2011 23:31:51 GMT -5 marigoldmama said:

That whole Betty Ford thing went over my head. At first, I thought she went to the Betty Ford clinic.

I followed the story in facts but in reality, what the heck was that about??

She was supposed to pick her up at the airport? Wasn't Betty Ford famous? Why is SHE picking her up, doesn't she have a limo or something?

I just got lost in the history of it, I guess. The whole thing didn't sound plausible (much like Bill being elected and no one knew they were polygamists even after the Mother of the Year thing) (I can't let it go!!!)

(Or it was a dumb story line)

Barb's mother was a big supporter of the Equal Rights Ammendment (as was Betty Ford) and apparently made arrangements for BF to come and speak to an LDS women's group. It apparently was a Big Scandel because the Morman Church was sure that if the ERA passed it would the beginning of the end. Barb's mother was supposed to pick up Betty Ford at the airport but just left her there. When push came to shove, she buckled under topopular opinion. And BF probably would have had a limo and Secret Service since she was a president's wife but it was better for the story for BF to be abandoned at the airport.

[marigoldmama]

Thanks Withay!

I guess the part about Barb's mom picking her up puzzled me. I assumed she was famous at that point and what the heck is Barb's mom picking her up for anyway?

Yeah, it was a wacky way of saying that Barb's mom (whose name I cannot remember!) caved into pressure.

[marigoldmama]

Why did Nancy say it was Barb that shunned her over the polygamy?

If Barb was sick with the cancer and was in a hospital and then, enter Nicki, how did Barb shun Nancy?
I guess just by being involved in the Principle?

I just could not follow Nancy's point of view there?

And WHY did Barb bring her mother to that place to speak? Did she really think anything good would come out of it?

[aliensummer]

I think Nancy blaming Barb for shunning her had more to do with Nancy's recollection of things. We often forget how things actually happened, or only view things from our own perspective, and I think that's what was happening there. Nancy probably feels as though Barb blames her for a lot of what has happened and has started to become naturally defensive when around Barb because of that, even when she really doesn't have to be. On top of that, she was probably still really ticked off that Barb had lied to her about what the talk was about, and was just confronted with the Betty Ford story again (which is something she is also obviously defensive about). And, don't forget, her husband had told her that she wasn't to talk to Barb anymore.

Barb, at the same time, has only viewed her decision and her family's reaction to it from her own perspective, and hasn't really thought about what they were going through at the time.

I think Nancy's behaviour, while odd, was meant to show that she was also taking it from all sides, just like Barb. It also kind of makes you wonder if there is more to the story of Barb becoming polygamous than we've already heard. So far everything has been from Barb's point of view, but maybe something else happened?

[bigluvjunkie]

Clearly Nancy is a very flawed character, but in this episode I felt Barb was using her. First Barb lied to her, then she was nasty to Nancy in the car, and then when Nancy brought up Barb choosing to follow Bill into polygamy, Barb was horrible, and said Nancy had cast her out. Ahem....I seriously doubt that was the case.

In past episodes it was established that Nancy's family had embraced Bill and they were all very close, before Bill decided to marry Nicki. The principle was at the heart of the estrangement.

Sure it probably would have been more virtuous for Nancy to accept Barb's choice, but on the other hand supposedly she is charged with Barb's eternal soul, and if Barb stays on this course, she is doomed to hell etc....

No question Nancy can be a nasty character but it's short-sighted to dismiss how Barb intentionally pushes her buttons, and how Barb own actions led to her being estranged from her family.

[BigLoveRocks!]

I distinctly remember Barb trying many times to see her mother in past episodes and her sister coming out telling her that the mother refused to see her.

[bigluvjunkie]

I think if you look closely at the scenes with Barb and her mother you find that most of the time Barb gets emotional and says something nasty. Take for example at the end of Season 3--Nancy tries to help Barb and Cindy make peace over the gambling thing, and Barb sabotages the meeting with an outburst over some family heirloom given to Cindy.

Then last season, Cindy and her husband helped Bill get elected. Of course, Barb and Bill tell them nothing of their real plans. Barb's loyalty to Bill is so extreme that she didn't warn her family or ask for their advice or help in averting the outing.

Cindy and Nancy are highly flawed but I can understand their attitude towards Barb.

[marigoldmama]

You guys are right about barb...she is a bit self centered and snotty sometimes when it comes to nancy.

I guess it's a hot topic for both of them.

[southernsong]

I have a theory on all of this. I don't think that Barb ever really warmed up to polygamy. I think that she went with it because she didn't want to lose Bill. I think that she feels like she lost Bill, in a way. Then, to top it off, she lost her mom and sister in the process.

I do think that she is very hurt and brings up hurtful things to try and hurt them as much as she was hurt by them.


You know, Betty Ford is still alive. I kind of wish that she would make a cameo appearance on the show. Like Barb arranges for Nancy to make amends and has Betty come speak at that group they were at. I doubt it will happen, but I thought it would be a nice way for Nancy and Barb to make up and then have Barb leave Bill now that she has her family back.

[albertaleon]

All I could think about was - Betty Ford couldn't get her own ride to the speaking engagement? If I was invited to speak somewhere & the person who was supposed to pick me up at the airport didn't show - I would probably take a cab! I'm not sure when this happened but was Betty Ford First Lady yet? If so, I would think Betty Ford would just get to where she needed to go & not think too much more about it.

I guess Barb's mother feels guilty herself because she let the outside world influence her behavior - & really it has nothing to do with Betty Ford.

I don't know if anyone on this board has had a serious illness - but it's terrible! Everything gets turned upside down! If I were Barb's mom I would be very angry with Bill for thinking my daughter was in any condition recovering from cancer to decide if she wanted to enter polygamy. I would think Bill was weak & a coward & he used my daughter's illness as an excuse to fool around & instead of being honest saying he was doing so because of the principle. For the most part I think Barb's mom is right because Bill hasn't made Barb's life easier or better - Bill has made Barb's life much more difficult. If The Principle was something Bill felt he had the calling for he should have waited until Barb was at least one year out of recovering from her illness to discuss it with Barb. Instead Bill took advantage of Barb being in a vulnerable place in her life.

[firstwife]

Jan 27, 2011 8:18:46 GMT -5 marigoldmama said:

Why did Nancy say it was Barb that shunned her over the polygamy?

If Barb was sick with the cancer and was in a hospital and then, enter Nicki, how did Barb shun Nancy?
I guess just by being involved in the Principle?

I just could not follow Nancy's point of view there?

And WHY did Barb bring her mother to that place to speak? Did she really think anything good would come out of it?

I took it to mean that Barb shunned the way of life that Nancy and her father had set out for her by choosing to fall in to polygamy. For a tight, respected LDS family, having a child choose this way of life would be a HUGE slap.

[marigoldmama]

I think this was dicussed a long time ago in the HBO board but I think Barb went along with the poygamy because she thought she was dying and wanted to have a say in who Bill married. Or maybe she could not even THINK about ever being well again and figured Nicki would be a blessing to her family.

I get your point about Barb shunning her LDS upbringing first. I didn't see it that way but you are right, I'm sure nancy feels that way.

[withay]

Jan 30, 2011 18:29:39 GMT -5 marigoldmama said:

I think this was dicussed a long time ago in the HBO board but I think Barb went along with the poygamy because she thought she was dying and wanted to have a say in who Bill married. Or maybe she could not even THINK about ever being well again and figured Nicki would be a blessing to her family.

I get your point about Barb shunning her LDS upbringing first. I didn't see it that way but you are right, I'm sure nancy feels that way.

I agree with you. I don't think that Barb ever thought that she would be continuing to live in polygamy. She thought she would die and took Bill marrying Nicki as an opportunity to see that her family would be cared for and who would be doing it. When she recovered, she took it as a sign that she was supposed to live this way.