Was Nikki a bit too much?

[prayforpeace]

some of her comments at that meeting where IVF was brought seemd harsh to me

the two that stood out was telling Barb-someon who lost her uterus that Nikki was not going to be a member of the we are infertaile club and also saying she didnt want to share Bill anymore

the sharing of bill IMO was the most rude to say to Barb-Nikki knows why bill marrid and she basicly told his first wife she wanted him all to herself

Nikki had moments since the series began of being over the top but i think she went too far with those comments

[kambria]

agreed. but that's Nikki, always looking out for herself!

[JJ77]

I agree I think she was just being a straight bitch in that scene.

margene and Barb had obviously discussed th epossibility of IVF as a way to HELP Nicki, since she was having such a hard time conceiving and was so dead set on doing so. Also, given the fact their children belong to them all... it wasnt completely unreasonable.

Except Nicki doesnt see it that way anymore. She doesnt see their family as a whole, she sees it as acompetition with her being the most worthy of Bill - and subsequently wanting a monogomous relationship with him.

So in return for their idea to help her, she attacks them both - cutting as low as possibe and trying ot hurt them as much as possibe while setting herself not only apart from them but above them.

It was an F'ed up thing to do.

[withay]

I absolutely agree that Nicki's responses were bitchy, low down and uncalled for. But we also have to remember that this is Nicki. She was raised in a place where if you did not look out for yourself, nobody else did and you literally might be abandoned on the side of the road. And where a woman's worth was measured by how many children she produced. When she feels threatened, she lashes out. Hard.

[JJ77]

In most situations where nicki is lashing out or behaving badly I can empathize with the reasoning behind it. This time though I just wasnt able to do that.

[BigLoveRocks!]

I think I can empathize with her reasoning this time...

I suspect Nikki was finally feeling like she had control of her life, her womanhood so to speak... Finding out she was infertile has made her feel inept all over again.

She definitely should have turned Margie down in a nicer way... She was lashing out because she felt so ashamed to be in that position in the first place.

She definitely wasn't being nice, but I can understand why she lashed out. She is embarassed and feeling as if she's lost control all over again.

[samantha]

Mar 9, 2010 1:29:22 GMT -5 withay said:

I absolutely agree that Nicki's responses were bitchy, low down and uncalled for. But we also have to remember that this is Nicki. She was raised in a place where if you did not look out for yourself, nobody else did and you literally might be abandoned on the side of the road. And where a woman's worth was measured by how many children she produced. When she feels threatened, she lashes out. Hard.

Totally agree with the above. Look at how Niki's mother talks to her?

I also agree with J777. I noticed Barb's face when Niki made her comment about the infertile clube and it definately hurt Barb, but I don't think Niki saw that; she just saw herself in that situation.

I was actually hoping for an alternate ending to the show. When the wives went up on stage, I was hoping Niki would see Ray in the audience. I really wanted her to be drawn toward Ray, not Bill.

[biglovelove]

Remember Nicki learned her coping skills on the compound. She never was allowed to experience love. She was never talked to in a real loving manner.

I also think the way the Henrickson sister wives started the show out (last 3 seasons) is far different from how a lot of compound wives treat each other.

[aliensummer]

I thought Nicki's reaction was actually very realistic. If you read journal articles on infertility, a lot of what Nicki said was similar to what participants in the studies had said, just they weren't directing it at anyone in particular.

For example, people who are infertile tend to get very upset, annoyed, and frustrated when others, especially fertile people (aka Margene) try to "solve" the problem for them or make suggestions on how to get pregnant. And in a lot of cases, I remember reading people saying that when this happens, they want to tell the people to just go away and mind their own business. They also describe feeling inferior to fertile people, which is why Nicki came off the way that she did in order to fight off the feelings of inferiority that she was probably feeling at that time. And, also, for infertile couples that have the possibility of conceiving, regardless of how small it is, they put off putting themselves into the category of "infertile" for a fairly long time, which is why she lashed out at Barb.

Now I'm not agreeing with what Nicki said. I think it was insensitive. But, I also think the scene was really well written and realistic. Nicki was put in an awful situation, having to deal with her own infertility after deciding that she does in fact want another child, seeing her mom get pregnant, Ana showing up pregnant with Bill's child, and then having Barb and Margene talk about her situation behind her back. Of course she was defensive, she probably felt like she had no other choice but to react that way. She was getting it from all sides, and I think what she was trying to tell Margene and Barb was to back away. That it's her problem, and she wants to deal with it without them.

[meadowlark]

I'm sure Nicki also feels guilt about her infertility. I have a feeling she believes that because she took birth control she is now infertile. She also still believes in the compound idea that women are only worthy if they can have children, which was shown when she fell on Bill in the clinic. I feel really bad for Nicki, and I'm sure all those hormones she was being pumped with did not help her "snappy" attitude.

[bonnie]

What made Nicki suddenly decide that she is in love with Bill? What did I miss or mis-interpret? Is this new found love for her husband for real?

Come on. You guys are smart. Help me out.
bonnie

[charlottelaurie]

I think the new-found love is for real -- it's not so much a decision as a realization. Sometimes that happens. You can be married for many years and you are in that 'mature marriage' that Barb talks to Peg about in Season 1, and all of a sudden you become madly and passionately in love again, like teenagers.

I'm not sure what triggered it here (I'll go back to check if I can spot it), but it's like when Barb and Bill had their little affair when Bill looked at her anew after her charming the socks off one of the local politicos at the meeting of the historical society in Season 1 (or 2).

And here I find myself sticking up for Nicki again, but I thought her reaction to finding out that Barb and Margie were talking about her and discussing her life situation behind her back was really honest. She was mad, and she lashed out. It didn't mean she didn't love them. It's just her way of dealing with the hurt. I would have been shocked if she'd said 'aren't you sweet to offer.' Maybe Barb or Margie would have said that, but they'd run home and cry afterwards I think.

[kambria]

Mar 10, 2010 14:01:00 GMT -5 aliensummer said:

I thought Nicki's reaction was actually very realistic. If you read journal articles on infertility, a lot of what Nicki said was similar to what participants in the studies had said, just they weren't directing it at anyone in particular.

For example, people who are infertile tend to get very upset, annoyed, and frustrated when others, especially fertile people (aka Margene) try to "solve" the problem for them or make suggestions on how to get pregnant. And in a lot of cases, I remember reading people saying that when this happens, they want to tell the people to just go away and mind their own business. They also describe feeling inferior to fertile people, which is why Nicki came off the way that she did in order to fight off the feelings of inferiority that she was probably feeling at that time. And, also, for infertile couples that have the possibility of conceiving, regardless of how small it is, they put off putting themselves into the category of "infertile" for a fairly long time, which is why she lashed out at Barb.

Now I'm not agreeing with what Nicki said. I think it was insensitive. But, I also think the scene was really well written and realistic. Nicki was put in an awful situation, having to deal with her own infertility after deciding that she does in fact want another child, seeing her mom get pregnant, Ana showing up pregnant with Bill's child, and then having Barb and Margene talk about her situation behind her back. Of course she was defensive, she probably felt like she had no other choice but to react that way. She was getting it from all sides, and I think what she was trying to tell Margene and Barb was to back away. That it's her problem, and she wants to deal with it without them.

you make a good point. and given Nikki's personality i wasn't shocked at all by her reaction.

[lism]

I just don't understand how she all of a sudden thinks she really loves Bill. The writers need to explore this more next season. I think the shortness of this season resulted in even more things not being explained