Barb's comment about prescription drugs

[BigLoveRocks!]

I am a little lost why her neighbor Pam got so upset over it, that she took down her signs.

Barb wasn't saying anything derogatory.

I would expect the competition to make more out of it than what it was, but why was Pam so upset?

I am glad at the end Bill did not ask her to apologize and retract.

[cherylr6]

Pam might have felt that it was directed at her and that she was being judged for something she herself views as a weakness.

I think it was really healthy that Pam took it out on Bill. I hope it is the start of a trend.

[BigLoveRocks!]

LOL! Yeah first Pam with the signs, then Marilyn crawling up his butt with a microscope and Nikki slapping him down mwahahaha... Bill seems to really be getting it good lately!

[albertaleon]

I don't know why Pam was so upset. Perhaps she thought that Barb was referring to her. Margene and Pam were friends at one time. I don't remember if anything came up that Pam was taking prescriptions drugs due to depression for not being able to conceive. As I am typing this I am hoping that I am remember correctly that Pam was the neighbor not able to have children.

I think that Barb's comments were taken out of context. If I was at such a meeting and the key note speaker said something like Barb said I would not be offended. I may be shocked that the key note speaker was being so straight forward and speaking about things no one ever mentions. I would have left such a meeting thinking that women do have a lot of responsibilities such as planning, fixing, scheduling, trying to make everything run smoothly and perfect. I would be a little shocked that the key note speaker spoke of running to medicine cabinets for prozac and other prescriptions to deal with all of the pressure.

If anything I would think the women at Barb's meeting would have appreciated the common ground that being a wife and mother is difficult. And, that is what I think Barb was trying to say and was trying to reach out to those women at the meeting for validation. For example, if four of the women said "yes Bard I know what you mean I try to do everything perfect and it is taxing."

I do not recall Barb saying anything that could be contrived as Barb stating "all Utah women are taking drugs and are weak." All that being said I don't think that meeting was the forum for Barb to talk about running to her medicine cabinet. That part surprised me because it gave me the indication that Barb is medicating herself to deal with her life. If the previous is true, I feel bad that Barb has to medicate herself to escape the reality of her life and needs medication to live the life she has.

I hope that makes sense because I know that there are times when medication is needed. Depression is real and often it has nothing to do with the persons life circumstances. Many people have severe depression and have great lives. I do not recall a discussion about Barb having depression. Due to that, I got the impression that Barb is medicating herself to escape her own life.

I hope that makes sense. Again, I believe that medication is needed and it is nothing to be ashamed of. People suffer from anxiety, phobias, sleep disorders. It is wonderful that there is medication available to help when needed. I got the impression from Barb that she was medicating herself for other reasons.

I'm glad that Bill did not have apologize on the TV show about her comment. I think that Barb should have reworded her statement which I think would be women need to be there for each other women are strong, creative, wise. Most people can get overwhelmed and would be better for people to know that they could turn to each other for help instead of running to their medicine cabinet. To admit that a person is overwhelmed would be admitting that a person is not perfect. I think that is what Barb was trying to say.

Was there anyone offended about what Barb said?

[albertaleon]

cherylr6, I agree with you!

[ladykc]

I think it really spoke to the crazy pressure and demands placed on women, especially Mormon women. I think Barb is saying that women need to stand up for themselves more and say no, rather than saying yes to everything that is asked, and then becoming depressed and overwhelmed. Yeah Barb!

[marigefan032]

Pam takes zoloft. She gave Margene some last season when Margene's was blonde. She gave her a little talk about how nobody was perfect but that the pills help.

So yeah I understand why she would be upset about Barb's comment

[BigLoveRocks!]

Barb was admitting that she too takes prescription pills. I remember last season she gave Wanda a xanax.

I think the comments would have been offensive if Barb herself wasn't admitting she too was taking them. But that is just me.

[albertaleon]

Benadryl? Did Barb say "we run to our medicine cabinets for benadryl?" If so, what does that mean? I give my child during cold symptoms.

[rissmeek]

Feb 28, 2010 23:54:49 GMT -5 albertaleon said:

Benadryl? Did Barb say "we run to our medicine cabinets for benadryl?" If so, what does that mean? I give my child during cold symptoms.

Benadryl is also a non-habit forming sleep aid.

[albertaleon]

BigLoveRocks and marigefan032 thanks for clearing the prescription drug questions up for me.

I wish Pam would have received Barb's talk with more empathy. Barb was not only emphasizing but sympathizing with the women in that room. For Barb's own reasons, she really was opening herself up to that group of women. A priest once told me "the truth is never wrong, it is the way that the person receiving the truth handles it." I just re-watched the last episode. I think most of those women would have been aware that Barb was opening up her heart to them and offering them hope on how to cope.

In the real world, we are in this life all together. We send our children to school and trust that their well being will be ensured, we attend churches and are trusting them with teaching our children (during children chapel) how to live a life with abundance love. We trust our doctors,, our elected officials to fight for our communities so that we have resources to create wonderful communities. In the real world, we daily put our trust in people. I have people in my home to steam clean, terminix to make sure that we do not get termites, plumbers in, etc. In the real world, I think that it would be great if women (and men) started demanding better schools for our children.

The women at Barb's meeting seem to be women that do a great deal of volunteer work to make life better for other people. I think that Barb's comments came down to saying "we can only do so much alone but by joining each other we will be stronger and will be able to do more good deeds.

I have read almost every post on this board. Everyone on this board seems great! I know that Big Love is just a show. However, so many posters seem to be able to watch the show and put the story lines into real life situations. I think this shows that just on this board there is a community made up of really insightful, creative, and smart people. I think that Barb felt as though she was speaking to a group of insightful, creative, and smart people when making those remarks. When everything is said and done no one should feel lonely and if feeling overwhelmed should have a support system of people they trust.

The more I think about it, the more I like Barb's comments at the meeting. It is sad to me that they got twisted and made Barb feel less than perfect once again. Barb is hard on herself. Barb's support system seems to be Bill. I never had gotten the impression that the wives lean on each other with their fears and insecurities. Perhaps deep down the wives don't trust each other. For example, if Nikki would have had a heart to heart with Barb when making the quilt. Nikki may have felt better until Nikki finds out that Barb told Margene and Margene says something off the cuff to hurt Nikki's feelings. Making Nikki close down, not share and not trust.

I would like to see the wives all have a heart to heart. I would like to hear how Barb really feels about Nikki and Margene, Nikki about Barb and Margene, Margene about Nikki and Barb. I want to know how each of them threaten the other, what fears they have about each other, what they love about each other, what they dislike about each other. I would like the wives to really go deep and say things that they have been thinking for years any hurt or anger they have been holding onto. I think such a story line would give us more insight into the wives, their feelings as individuals, their feelings about their sister wives, and their feelings about Bill.

With the large family they have I would think that there would always be someone there for the other person when going through anything upsetting or exciting. For example, no one being able to show up Margene's show (except Ben). Nikki holding in all of her emotions instead of sharing them. Barb not being able to sort out her anger towards her husband and making judgements such as hiring Marilyn for the wrong reasons.

Perhaps all of this non communication, not trusting, poor decision making is a part of the family being in outer darkness right now. Yes, almost more than anything I would like to see the wives discuss their feelings about each other and how they really feel about each other. If Barb did not have so much built up resentment towards Margene which I think started when Barb found out about their premarital sex and maybe when Margene was Bill's babysitter Barb was uncomfortable with it, then Barb would not have to make comments that are hurtful under her breath about Margene. In this last episode when Margene was telling Bill he was right about her not marrying the guy and she was doing it for her business and not the family, Barb kept making "sharp" comments under her breath. If the wives exposed all of their feelings about each other then Barb would not have to make those types of comments.

I hope this makes sense. But I have not seen an episode when the wives feelings are just explored. I think that is more important to the show than some of the side plots such as Ana's pregnancy, the bird business gone wrong (even though I love Frank and Lois), and even all of the discussion about Sarah moving to heroin infested Oregon.

[BigLoveRocks!]

Very well said Albertaleon, I couldn't agree more!!!

[albertaleon]

Big Love Rocks, Thank you!

[withay]

Apparently, it is a fact that Utah has the highest rate of prescription "mental health" medications. But it also is something that nobody talks about... Barb was just putting it out there that maybe if Utah women (meaning LDS women) were not so hard on themselves and not try to be everything to everybody. they would not need so much help. I agree with what she said. I also take medication because I have ongoing problems with depression. But so many people feel that admitting that you need mental health help is somehow shameful, though. I think Barb was a victim of that kind of thinking.

[missingkathy]

There's a lot in Mormon culture about "keeping sweet" and encouraging women to still handle huge amounts of stressful things- mind you, I say culture, not necessarily church, so let's not even get into anything but facts. Utah has a very high rate of antidepressant use- I believe it's twice the national average. There was also a LA Times article which quoted a study saying, "Utah's rate of antidepressant use was twice the rate of California and nearly three times the rates in New York and New Jersey". I also recall reading in a New York Times article that the rate of prescription antidepressant use for WOMEN is like six times higher than normal. I guess it's like Fight Club- you just don't talk about it in Utah!